That's not your facial mask by Benjamim Rêgo


fig.1 - The Crying Face Mask Meme




Hello everyone, today I will be talking about our facial masks. More specifically, the ones that are not our own.
But why this topic? It’s quite simple, but if you dig more into it, you can understand how crucial it is for our lives.
It is important to speak about this because I don’t often see people talk about this and a common thing to do for the human being.
If you think about it, we hide are not ourselves in a big part of our life. It’s like ourselves in a mask that doesn’t belong to us! We lie to everyone from our friends our loved ones, with masks that we wear during the years. We avoid expressing who we are, our true selves and our thoughts, because we want to fit in, gain approval or just “be cool”. Because expressing who we are, is not enough. It’s like we are living someone else’s life.
For example, smoking. Most of the time, people smoke because they are friends with other persons and want to be like them, like I said, to “be cool” like them. 
We also wear masks to show the “perfect life” that we don’t live in. We always have the best job, the most fun coworkers, the fastest car, the perfect house or and the most handsome dearly beloved. Our ego traps us in this artificially staged world that always want more and more, there’s always a different desire and you never settle. I like to call it the “fake it until you make it”. In the social networks, we live a life that it is everything but nothing our own life
We wear masks because we fear others will see who we really are because we think that we are ridiculous and everybody else will just mock each time we do something. It’s like a shield that protects us from judgment and to hide our weaknesses because we fear we will not be good enough in the other person’s eyes. And those masks are perfect for this case, but why can´t you just be yourself? Why do you even care anymore about that?
Men learned how to hide their weaknesses and feelings and, in their place, learned how to act “strong, tough and rude”, by just looking cocky at all circumstances. Men can be rude and sometimes stupid, but they are just acting “strong” to give everyone else confidence when they don’t got none of that confidence in themselves. On the other hand, women have been conditioned to hide their strengths, to act sweet and fragile. To look helpless, and non-threatening. These stereotypes don´t define a single bit of what men and women are. We act like it, but on the inside, we are totally different persons.
The more we wear these “fake” masks and play someone else’s role, the more we distance ourselves from our authenticity. We lose trust and confidence in ourselves and mainly our authenticity when we let someone else define who we really are or “should be”. Only caring about by the opinions of other people, we lose our own original and unique way of thinking and start to second-guess our own thoughts more consistently. The doubt will always be present, and we won’t be able to think independently. Our relationships suffer as well, because if you are not good with yourself, how do you can be good with any other person in your life. Life ceases to flow freely through us, and as a consequence, we tend to grow more and even more frustrated, stressed, and depressed. 
But there’s always hope. Many people, reach a tipping point, especially around midlife, when they wake up and ask themselves the most existential question of them all: “Who am I?” They know they want to live more authentically, to live with more meaning, to live their own life. They just want to find themselves and be themselves in the purest way possible. By don’t care about everyone else thinks or acts or for whatever reason. Like a famous artist said in a song “Don’t be mad because I’m doing me better than you doing you”. In effect, they are beginning to take the “baby-steps” necessary to draw the line in the horizon, remove their masks, and say, “This is who I am, and this is who I want to be for the rest of my life”.
It may take time. It will always depend on the person. It may take several life-changing experiences to help you realize it’s time to remove your mask. It may hurt you, but in the long-term, it will be worth it. After wearing so many different and countless masks for so long, it’s not easy to connect to yourself and, importantly, to express your true self and in the company of others that care about you and love you no matter what. It may take continued effort to heal your past conflicts and traumas until you are ready to move on, mask-free or with a mask. Your own mask to live more authentically and with deeper meaning (like you should have always lived).

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