How to maintain
healthy interpersonal relationships?
An interpersonal
relationship is a strong, deep, or close
association or acquaintance between two or more people that may range in duration
from brief to enduring. This association may be based on inference, love,
solidarity, regular business interactions, or some other type of social
commitment.
Relationships
do not develop out of the blue. Psychologist George Levinger identified five
stages of interpersonal relationships in a 1980 study. He called it stage
theory, which include acquaintance; build up; continuation; deterioration and
ending (termination). Suggesting that great part of relationships have a life
expectancy and do come to an end eventually. He did also mention that
successful relationships only go through the first three stages.
When
we establish a new interpersonal relationship, we go through a construction
process, starting by getting to know better the person, sharing each other’s
interests, likes and dislikes, past experiences and adventures etc. This
obviously relative, people are different, cultures are different and the environment,
in my opinion, takes a big role in how you will evolve that relationship.
Maintaining
friendships and relationships take work and effort. In order to preserve
relationships good communication is a must, establishing boundaries, active
listening, respect, positive attitude, frontality and honesty.
Communication
plays a pivotal role in reducing misunderstanding and eventually strengthens
the bond between both the people. A relationship loses its charm and meaning
when both people refrain from communicating with each other. When communicating
no words must be necessarily said. Your body movements, gestures, facial
expressions, hand movements say a lot. Knowing when to communicate and the
right timing is also very important. Getting to know each other to that extent
enhances the bond between both.
Establishing
boundaries in relationship, it’s like creating your own space inside that bond
between two people. A big issue in interpersonal relationships is not
establishing boundaries since the beginning. This can lead to the loss of your
self-sense, loss of voice and ability to be assertive. Whenever boundaries are
crossed out in the beginning, later they will comeback to torment the
relationship, and usually its too late to overcome the damages.
To begin with, there
is a big difference between hearing and listening. Hearing is one of the human
senses, it is physiological and does not necessarily imply the understanding of
the aural input. Listening and understanding what the other person is saying
tends to be devalued, either because you have just listened too many times that
person or you just think it isn’t important. Furthermore, whenever someone is
expressing themselves the most important thing sometimes is not even the
content itself, but the listening and importance you demonstrate when
listening. Active listening is yet again a crucial aspect of a good ambient in
a relationship.
Frontality is a
sensitive topic. To what extent should we be frontal? What are the limits, and
should we be frontal at all? Frontality is a not so common trait, and its not good
to be very upfront, but even worst keeping things for yourself. Finding an
equilibrium is a challenge. In order to find it you will to take a few things
in consideration, who are you talking too, what’s the matter in cause and is it
legitimate to externalize whatever you want to say. Usually what happens is a
big discrepancy in the level of frontality of both people, which can result in
a clash. Therefore, adapting to each other’s needs is critical. ´
Honesty builds trust.
That alone should be motivating to ensure honesty in the relationship, this is
if both people want build something. Being honest reduces the chances of
misunderstood and boosts the communication. Honesty not only comforts the other
person, but it grows your character and helps in your development as a
person. Honesty give us freedom. We are free to be ourselves, when we find
ourselves in a relationship built on trust.
Respect is the basis
of all these traits. If we were to add all of these in a jar it would give
“Respect”. Respect is the agglomeration of all these aspects, and in order to
create/maintain a healthy interpersonal relationship you will have to always
guide yourself through respect. The fact that a person is opening herself and
sharing a bit of themselves should implicitly make you respect her.
To sum up, in my
opinion the determining factor for a healthy relationship is the level of
interest of both people. If the level of interest does not coincide eventually,
either the relationship terminates, or it stagnates. Because, if there is
legitimate interest in building the relationship everything that was mentioned
before will come naturally and instinctively. That’s the beauty of humans. We
are social beings and we are meant to live in community, we will instinctively
want to create strong and strengthen bonds. It will always be difficult to
maintain all your relationships. Some relationships are clearly just temporary
in your life, not irrelevant, but temporary. Important to point out.
An interpersonal
relationship is a strong, deep, or close
association or acquaintance between two or more people that may range in duration
from brief to enduring. This association may be based on inference, love,
solidarity, regular business interactions, or some other type of social
commitment.
Relationships
do not develop out of the blue. Psychologist George Levinger identified five
stages of interpersonal relationships in a 1980 study. He called it stage
theory, which include acquaintance; build up; continuation; deterioration and
ending (termination). Suggesting that great part of relationships have a life
expectancy and do come to an end eventually. He did also mention that
successful relationships only go through the first three stages.
When
we establish a new interpersonal relationship, we go through a construction
process, starting by getting to know better the person, sharing each other’s
interests, likes and dislikes, past experiences and adventures etc. This
obviously relative, people are different, cultures are different and the environment,
in my opinion, takes a big role in how you will evolve that relationship.
Maintaining
friendships and relationships take work and effort. In order to preserve
relationships good communication is a must, establishing boundaries, active
listening, respect, positive attitude, frontality and honesty.
Communication
plays a pivotal role in reducing misunderstanding and eventually strengthens
the bond between both the people. A relationship loses its charm and meaning
when both people refrain from communicating with each other. When communicating
no words must be necessarily said. Your body movements, gestures, facial
expressions, hand movements say a lot. Knowing when to communicate and the
right timing is also very important. Getting to know each other to that extent
enhances the bond between both pupils.
Establishing
boundaries in relationship, it’s like creating your own space inside that bond
between two people. A big issue in interpersonal relationships is not
establishing boundaries since the beginning. This can lead to the loss of your
self-sense, loss of voice and ability to be assertive. Whenever boundaries are
crossed out in the beginning, later they will comeback to torment the
relationship, and usually its too late to overcome the damages.
To begin with, there
is a big difference between hearing and listening. Hearing is one of the human
senses, it is physiological and does not necessarily imply the understanding of
the aural input. Listening and understanding what the other person is saying
tends to be devalued, either because you have just listened too many times that
person or you just think it isn’t important. Furthermore, whenever someone is
expressing themselves the most important thing sometimes is not even the
content itself, but the listening and importance you demonstrate when
listening. Active listening is yet again a crucial aspect of a good ambient in
a relationship.
Frontality is a
sensitive topic. To what extent should we be frontal? What are the limits, and
should we be frontal at all? Frontality is a not so common trait, and its not good
to be much upfront, but even worst keeping things for yourself. Finding an
equilibrium is a challenge. In order to find it you will to take a few things
in consideration, who are you talking too, what’s the matter in cause and is it
legitimate to externalize whatever you want to say. Usually what happens is a
big discrepancy in the level of frontality of both people, which can result in
a clash. Therefore, adapting to each other’s needs is critical. ´
Honesty builds trust.
That alone should be motivating to ensure honesty in the relationship, this is
if both people want build something. Being honest reduces the chances of
misunderstood and boosts the communication. Honesty not only comforts the other
person, but it grows your character and helps in your self-development as a
person. Honesty give us freedom. We are free to be ourselves, when we find
ourselves in a relationship built on trust.
Respect is the basis
of all these traits. If we were to add all of these in a jar it would give
“Respect”. Respect is the agglomeration of all these aspects, and in order to
create/maintain a healthy interpersonal relationship you will have to always
guide yourself through respect. The fact that a person is opening herself and
sharing a bit of themselves should implicitly make you respect her.
To sum up, in my
opinion the determining factor for a healthy relationship is the level of
interest of both people. If the level of interest does not coincide eventually,
either the relationship terminates, or it stagnates. Because, if there is
legitimate interest in building the relationship everything that was mentioned
before will come naturally and instinctively. That’s the beauty of humans. We
are social beings and we are meant to live in community, we will instinctively
want to create strong and strengthen bonds. It will always be difficult to
maintain all your relationships. Some relationships are clearly just temporary
in your life, not irrelevant, but temporary. Important to point out.
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